30 Aug So I stay at home, alone….. – My Random Journal Entries – unedited
What is up!
Just a little note before I begin as this might be the last blog post from my journal, depicting my struggles. The intent of these posts is to help start the conversation around mental health and know that this is real! That being said, It’s tough to write and rewrite about the past because I find keep getting stuck there and reliving the the experiences emotionally. I don’t want to be there anymore. So, I truly believe that in order to move forward, and what I have done, is accept the past so I can truly heal, learn and then move forward. As tough as it was, I did it because I know and trust that it helps. It helps me cleanse and heal, and I truly hope that it helps others relate, not feel alone and have hope that they too can overcome their obstacles. I’ve done most of the heavy lifting but like a lot of people, I still have work to do. I’ll continue to write, but I feel it’s time to share the other side of healing, which is climbing the mountain and reaching the top to see the breathtaking amazing view and endless possibilities in your life. I’ve accomplished a lot in the past two years and I want to share the ongoing journey and my new positive outlook on life, so that you too can believe that you have the strength and power within to overcome all the obstacles in your life and truly live the purposeful life you want and deserve.
Please reach out if you want to chat, maybe listen to the podcast for more inspiration and check out the resources on the website.
and remember to take care of yourself, it’s not selfish it’s necessary.
Much Gratitude, Brad
Jan 12, 2017
My family relies on me for everything. I almost feel like I can give them nothing. I have nothing left to give them. No energy, No drive, I’m exhausted from trying to fix myself everyday. I need a break, free from obligations. But that just makes me feel guilty. I don’t know what to do now. I’m affecting everyone’s life. Vanessa, Nolan, Mom, Dad, Mel, Work, etc. I don’t know what to do now, AGAIN! This is so frustrating. The only time I feel sort of ok is when I’m meditating or when I’m out of the house. When I’m here I feel like I need to do something, which gives me the anxious feeling. And now I have to start dealing with Worksafe, explaining myself, pleading my case that I have an injury that was caused by my job, that you can’t see. Ya, that sounds believable. Long road ahead. Longer than I thought. I just want to live a regular life. Not being afraid to see the neighbours so they don’t ask questions. Don’t talk to my friends because I don’t wan to bring them down. I can’t tell ANYONE! So I stay at home, alone……and think.. My life today